One Reflection Exercise Before You Unplug

As the holiday season approaches, I know many leaders are arriving here tired.

Not the “I need a nap” kind of tired—but the deeper kind. The kind that comes from carrying responsibility, making hard decisions, supporting people through challenges, and holding it together even when you weren’t sure how much more you had to give.

If that’s you, I want to say this clearly before anything else:

That tiredness isn’t a failure.
It’s evidence that you’ve been leading.

And as you prepare to unplug—whether for a few days or a couple of weeks—I want to offer one simple reflection exercise before you do. Not to plan. Not to fix. Not to optimize. Just to pause.

Because rest is more restorative when we take a moment to set things down first.

Why This Moment Matters

Many leaders unplug by simply shutting everything off—and while that can help in the short term, what often happens is that the weight of the year follows us anyway.

Unfinished thoughts. Lingering frustrations. Quiet pride we never acknowledged.

Reflection allows us to name what we’ve been carrying so we don’t drag it straight into the next season. It creates clarity. And clarity creates space.

This isn’t about squeezing one more task into your calendar.
It’s about honoring the year you just lived.

Before You Begin: Set the Bar Low

This reflection:

Is not strategic planning
Is not goal setting
Is not something you need to get “right”

All you need is:

10–15 quiet minutes
A notebook, notes app, or simply time to think
A willingness to be honest—with yourself

No editing. No judging. Just noticing.

The Reflection Exercise

1. What Went Well?

Start here. Not because the year was perfect—but because it wasn’t all hard.

Ask yourself:

When did I show up well as a leader?
What moments am I quietly proud of?
Where did I act in alignment with my values?

These don’t need to be headline moments. Often the most meaningful wins are small:

A conversation handled with care
A decision made with courage
A moment you chose calm over reaction

Name them. Let them count.

2. What Drained Me?

Next, give yourself permission to be honest.

Ask:

What consistently pulled my energy down?
What felt heavy or unsustainable?
What do I not want to carry forward?

This is not about blame—of others or yourself.
It’s about awareness.

You don’t need solutions right now. You don’t need to fix anything. Simply naming what drained you is enough to begin releasing it.

3. What Do I Want More Of?

Finally, resist the urge to turn this into a to-do list.

Instead, ask:

What do I want more of in the year ahead?
What deserves more space or protection?
How do I want to feel more often as a leader?

Notice this isn’t about numbers, metrics, or resolutions. It’s about direction. About clarity. About what matters.

A Gentle Reminder

When you finish this exercise, don’t rush into planning.
Don’t turn it into a checklist.
Don’t judge your answers.

Reflection isn’t about fixing the year—it’s about understanding it.

Clarity doesn’t always demand immediate action. Sometimes it simply asks to be noticed.

Now, Unplug

Once you’ve taken a few minutes to reflect, give yourself permission to truly unplug.

The emails will wait.
The calendar will fill back up.
The work will still be there.

But you’ll return grounded. Clearer. More connected to what matters most.

Rest knowing you’ve honored the year, learned from it, and given yourself permission to pause.

That, too, is leadership.

Tune in this Sunday to the “Leaning into Leadership” podcast, where I’m joined by Scott Borba, Superintendent/Principal of the Le Grand Union Elementary School District, and author of the recent release “The Leader You’re Not”.